30/7: Birthday Month

 

As a child, I never understood

How love could hurt.

I loved the things that make me happy,

I avoided the things that make me cry.

 

Growing up, I realised that,

The adults before me were right

For nothing is as painful as love.

Never fall in love too young; they said.

And here I go, crying over something stupid.

 

Even when it stings me, I chase it.

I squeeze it in my hand until

My fingers bleed.

Even when I finally let go,

I forget about the blood,

I only remember the warmth.

 

We love unconditionally.

A tragically beautiful thing…

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2 minggu cuti sem sekarang ni, 2 orang sepupu kahwin.

Sorang kawan sekolah bercerai. 3 kenalan jauh meninggal dunia. 

Sorang jiran rumah lama sakit terlantar sekarang. 

Lagi a few day nak naik sem 5, aku masih tak move on lagi dengan perasaan nak repeat FA4. Aku terbayang lagi perasaan aku give up masa final haritu. 

Tiap kali habis solat en, aku macam terfikir, apa yang aku nak kejar sekarang ni. Aku macam takde perasaan nak achieve apa-apa. Mungkin aku dah tua, mungkin takde sapa nak asak aku untuk achieve macam orang lain. 

Aku bawak je buku FA4, kononlah nak study....

Elok je buku tu kat atas tepi meja katil aku. 

Tak sabar nak sem depan. 

Harap join kelas baru, classmate baru, dapatlah mood beria baru, sama macam perasaan aku nak sambung belajar dulu...

p/s: aku ingat nak buat review pasal movie/drama yang aku tengok sepanjang cuti 2 minggu ni. Tapi macam biasa, malas.